Banditos

Please look closely at the photos above. If you should see these two anywhere near your kitchen...hide the butter!! Word to the wise! Be on alert, as they work in teams, not hesitating to split up if that's what it takes to pull off a master heist. Do not, I repeat, do NOT be fooled by their innocent looks or charm. These two are pros! Consider yourselves warned...

I don't know what it was with these two, but they cherished sticks of butter like little blocks of gold. It probably didn't help that the brand I bought was wrapped in gold shiny paper. And oh, the lengths they would go to in order to pull off a butter stealing scam on mama. They would take turns playing "fall guy". For example, Heidi would start screeching from the furthest room in the house (I find this to be no coincidence), a part of a room or outer back yard that would take my direction the opposite path of the kitchen. She'd be on the ground, very dramatic like...one hand covering a fake boo-boo and the other covering her eyes so I couldn't see if there were any real tears. Blake (accomplice) would run like the wind to the kitchen, use their little step stools if need be...locate the target goal, stuff it under his shirt or pull up pants, and try to get out while I was still in where ever, kissing zero visibility ouchies. Yeah, that's how they rolled!!

Next time, they'd switch off...change location of room and ailment. They psyched me out for a good bit of time too. Then one day I'm changing their beds and find a couple of sticks of butter, wedged down between the mattress and wall... and another in the toy box! They are all resembling butter bananas, if you will. Gold outer wrapping peeled back and evidence of little teeth marks where the insides had been gnawed. What the heck?? So, I start to catch on eventually...in a month, or two, or three... sneaky little actors!! I continue to play stupid for a while (easy) and eventually start setting my little gangsters up. Butter in the fridge, high enough to require a stool? CHECK... Watch them meet in the hallway and devise the mastermind specifics? CHECK... Watch the plan set into action? CHECK... Allow the plan to follow through... CHECK... Watch them as they meet up in their bedroom and close the door? CHECK... Peek through the crack of the door and see them giggle as one produces a butter cube from the front of their diaper? BUSTED!!!

But would I play along for a while? HECK YEA! "What cha doin'?", I ask all innocent like, giving them time to freak out and decide where to throw the butter... "I wuv you mama!", Heidi would say, and head toward me for a kiss. Blake, drops the butter and tries to kick it under the bunk bed. "Um, has anyone seen mamas butter? I can't find it!"... Uhhhh, deer in the headlights. LOL funny! Keep in mind, they're not even two! This would go on, and on... the little sneaker sneaker-twins game of lies and deceit. It would eventually build to cookies, even higher up and on the counter... Oh, oh...They were starting to progress like Bonnie and Clyde. I would have to double back and catch the one in the kitchen in the act! I rounded the corner, Heidi tippy toed on the stool reaching, reaching for the cookie jar... "BOO!", I said, scaring her almost off the stool, except for I swept her up in my arms. "Mama got cha, cookie monster!!", and then, "Ohhhhhh Blakie.... come heeeeeere...." He wasn't too scared to appear because Heidi (accomplice) was giggling and wriggling under my tickles. "Hi mama...", he says, showing his face around the door, batting his lashes, and shooting me his best silly grin. "I gottcha both!! Butter cookie swiping monsters!" ...And then I ran after him with Heidi still under one arm... We would all laugh and I would tell them how I was on to them. "Don't you sneaks do it any more!" I warned. And so they wouldn't... well, maybe not that particular scam. There would be plenty others though...

Banditos

I gots an ouchie-ouchie,

Mama come and see...

I hit my head, my tummy aches,

I think I hurt my knee..

I gots a boo-boo bad, bad!

Mama come and see...

I'm lying in the back yard,

can you come find me?

I think I smashed my finger,

because "that 'tupid door"...

Mama kiss my owie 'till

it doesn't hurt no more??

Our toy box is a pantry,

our closet is a 'fridge,

and in between our mattress,

we've built a butter bridge.

There's cookies in our suitcase,

and pop tarts in our drawer...

perhaps we'll hide the car keys,

and drive when we are four!!

What a little scheming duo they turned out to be. The scariest part? I think they're still pulling fast one's on me...only now they're grown up!! ;0